remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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