can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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