In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
