Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
