Her vagina should come with caution tape.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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