Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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