shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
