"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
