bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
