Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
