3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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