It was confusing and full of hummus
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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