I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
