Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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