Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
