You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
