i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
