the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
