ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
