Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
