I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
