Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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