She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
