Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
