that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
