Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
