i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
How does it feel to date your dad?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
