I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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