In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
