Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize