I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
