I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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