What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
