I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
