Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bang-toberfest begins!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
