***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
