There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
