Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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