things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
