I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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