you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
