Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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