wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
