Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
