Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
