I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
