Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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