Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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