I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
