Your mouth is God's brothel.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
